Grieving Over Apples
by Luthiene
Summary: Pippin recieves and loses a chain letter, and becomes paranoid that he's going to die. Everything is a safety hazard. And It doesn't help when his bad luck causes Merry to hit his head and think he's a girl. R and R!
1. The Letter Arrives

I don't own LOTR. I most likely never will. Tolkien is the godly creator of Middle-Earth and all it's inhabitants, if you want to sue me, speak to my lawyer.  
  
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"Merry, Look!" Pippin shoved a piece of paper in Merry's face. Merry grunted and pulled it back so he could properly see it.  
  
"What is it?" he asked, beginning to read it.  
  
"It's a chain letter! If I don't send copys to everyone I know, bad things will happen!" said Pippin, in a voice that sounded, to Merry, impossibly small. Surely, Pippin didn't believe in that rubbish?  
  
"Pippin, just throw it out. Nothing will happen, chain letters are just junk." Merry said as he finished reading it.  
  
"I can't! Didn't you read it? I'll be cursed forever! I don't want to be cursed, Merry...Merry! Give it back!" Pippin yelled as Merry held it high abovehis head and out of Pippin's reach.  
  
"Pip...nothing bad will happen! Chain letters are a big joke, ebveryone knows it" Pippin was jumping up and down, trying to grab the letter from Merry's clutches.  
  
"Merry, give it to me! I don't want to be cursed! I..." Pippin trailed off as the letter was snatched from Merry's grasp by the wind. "Look what you've gone and done, Meriadoc Brandybuck! There goes my letter, and now I'll surely have bad luck for as long as I live." Pippin said sadly.  
  
"Don't be foolish, Pip." said Merry, patting Pippin's head, "If you're even the smallest bit cursed, may the hair on my toes fall out by morning" He started to walk away, and Pippin, after a moment of staring in the direction the letter had blown off to, ran to catch up with him. They walked a while in silence, until they came to Pippin's house.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow, Pip." Merry said, as Pippin silently climbed the steps to his front door and went in.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"What do you say to some apples from Farmer Maggot's tree?" asked Merry casually the next day, as he and Pippin lay side-by-side on a hill by the Brandywine. Pippin shook his head.  
  
"I might fall." he said simply.  
  
"Don't be silly, Pip, you've never fallen once, and you're the better climber of the two of us"  
  
"Yes, but with my luck, I'd better not take any chances."  
  
"You're not still on about that stupid letter, are you?" Merry asked, exasperated.  
  
"Last night I gave myself a paper cut." said Pippin. "It's because I didn't send out all those letters"  
  
"Pippin, you always give yourself paper cuts!" Merry said, Pippin turned his eyes from staring off into space to meet with Merry's.  
  
"But it really hurt this time, " he said. He showed Merry his finger. Merry sat up a bit to inspect it.  
  
"What am I looking at?" he asked. Pippin sighed.  
  
"My cut! Can't you see how huge it is? I'm telling you, it really HURT!" Merry tried, but for the life of him couldn't see anything on Pippin's finger. Not even a speck of dirt. Pippin pulled his finger back and let his hand drop to his side. "I hope all the hair on your feet falls out." he said. Merry jumped up and held out his hand to help Pippin.  
  
"Come on, you're just being paranoid. Let's go to Maggot's apple tree, if you won't climb then I will!" Pippin looked at him skeptically, but didn't take his hand. 'You might pull too hard and send me flying down the hill,' was his excuse. Soon, after a couple exasperated sighs from Merry and somenervous glances around, Merry and Pippin were off to the tree. Pippin kept scaning for safety hazzards along the way. Merry couldn't really comprehend how a shrubery could be dangerous, but kept his mouth shut as Pippin edged away from itand kept walking.  
  
As soon as they reached the tree, Merry threw down his jacket and jumped to grab the first branch. He continued the motion, climbing the tree, until he reached a branch with many red, shiny apples hanging from it. "Watch out, Pippin! I'm going to throw them down!" called Merry.  
  
"Don't, Merry! I'm sure they'll hit me on the head!"  
  
"Pip, you've been hit on the head by many an apple before, and trust me, it won't be the last time"  
  
"Merry, I-" began Pippin, but soon many apples came showering down upon him. Pippin scurried around, trying to catch them all in his shirt. He caught the last one sucessfully, and smiled to himself. He had once again shrewdly averted disaster. Merry started to climb down the tree. Suddenly, his foot missed a branch and he came tumbling to the ground.  
  
"Ahh!" cried Pippin, as he saw his best friend fall, "Curse my bad luck!" He dropped the apples from his shirt and ran over to Merry's unconsious form, and shook him forcefully. Merry's eyes fluttered open. Pippin gave a small gasp/laugh of triumph.  
  
"You're alive! But curse my bad luck, I've bruised all the apples! I told you I should have sent those letters!Did you listen...no..."  
  
Merry stared at Pippin for a minute as he rambled on. Finally, he spoke. "Hi, I'm Linda" he said. Pippin stopped rambling aloud (mostly to himself) and stared at Merry sas if he had gone insane.  
  
"...What?"  
  
"I said, 'Hi, I'm Linda', who are you?"  
  
" Merry! Stop fooling around! I have to grieve over the apples!" yelled Pippin angrily. Merry, oblivious to Pippin's anger, just stared at him with a silly grin on his face.  
  
"You're cute...what's your name?" he asked. Pippin's head snapped up at Merry's comment, and forgot about his anger over the ruined apples.  
  
"W..what?" he asked.  
  
"What's your name?" Merry smiled, showing every single tooth in his mouth.  
  
"Um...Pippin." Pippin said nervously. He could tell Merry wasn't fooling around. Curse his bad luck! n WHY had he even shown Merry the letter in the first place?!  
  
"That's a nice name." sighed Merry, as he stood up and then grabbed Pippin's hand, pulling him up with him. "Let's go pick flowers!" Merry skipped off, still holding Pippin's hand.  
  
TBC......  
  
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I shall continue soon! 


	2. Add A Very Confused Sam To The Mix

Grieving Over Apples, Chapter Two....  
  
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"Merry, erm...Linda, I know...you want to...umph..pick flowers but...could you...please...just.,.." Pippin struggled to get a word in as Merry pulled him with amazing strength towards a large field of flowers. Pippin was having a hard time keeping up, due to the fact that A) Merry was skipping,and doing so at a remarkable speed, and B) He had quite a strong hold on his hand and was pulling him forward every time he swung his arms. "Merry! I could have an allergic reaction to these flowers!" Merry stopped skipping and turned to look at Pippin.  
  
"Really, who is this 'Mary' you're going on about? I'm Linda, not Mary! Is she your..." Merry paused, thinking "...girlfriend?" he asked. Pippin momentarily forgot his fear and burst out laughing.  
  
"Of course not! 'Merry' is my best friend! I mean...you're my best friend, Merry."  
  
"I'm Linda"  
  
"No, you're Merry"  
  
"I'm telling you, I'm Linda!"  
  
"No, You're...oh, forget it. I might loose my voice arguing and not be able to cry for help if I need it." Pippin tried to pry his hand from Merry's grip, but found Merry wasn't letting go. He sighed and sat down, his hand still in the air from Merry holding it. "Let go of my hand" he said grumpily.  
  
"Why?" Merry asked, and he sat down beside Pippin.  
  
"Because, you might crush it. I wouldn't be surpised if you did with my luck" Merry reluctantly let Pippin's hand drop.  
  
"You look lucky to me," said Merry. "Lucky to look so cute!" Merry laughed and poked Pippin playfully. Pippin didn't find this funny. In fact, for a minute was afraid Merry would poke him too hard and seriously injure him.  
  
"Merry..."  
  
"Linda."  
  
"Sorry, Linda...I was just going to say that I need to find that chain letter." Pippin sighed and was tempted to pick a flower and twirl it between his fingers, but he didn't want to risk being poisoned by it.  
  
"Why do you want to find a chain letter? Everyone knows they're just rubbish!" Merry rolled over so he was on his side and faced Pippin.  
  
"No one believes me!" Pippin mumbled angrily. Merry put his arm around Pippin's shoulders sympathetically.  
  
"We'll find your book...."  
  
"Letter...."  
  
"...or die trying!"  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of."  
  
"Don't worry, Pippin." Said Merry. Then he stoof up and pulled Pippin, quite unwillingly, to his feet. "Let's think....you can't of been the only person to revieve a letter, correct? And who's someone who collects everything?" Merry though aloud as Pippin marveled at his companions new- found cleverness.  
  
"Um...Elrond?"  
  
"Ok, where is this...Elrond?"  
  
"In Rivendell."  
  
"Where is Rivendell?"  
  
"Um...Far away"  
  
"Oh, that's no good, then." Merry sat down and propped his elbow up on his knee, resting his head in his palm.  
  
"...The gaffer." said Pippin, sounding as if he was in mid-thought. Merry's head snapped up. "That's it!He keeps everything! Even Sam's birth certificate- I'm sure it's fake, though- we could ask him!" Pippin declared, snapping his fingers and grinning at his cleverness. Merry seemsed to be impressed too, because he batted his eyelashes and linked his arm with Pippin's and started skipping off, pulling Pippin with him.  
  
"Well, let's go see him, then. The...gopher?"  
  
"Gaffer."  
  
"Oh..." Merry stopped in mid-skip. "Um..where does he live?" Pippin looked around. He'd never seen this particular field before, but he didn't really want to be pulled closer to the potentially dangerous flower field, which was to the right of him, so he said, "Left", and Merry started skipping in that direction. Pippin was beginning to wonder if he'd ever be able to walk normally again. After a lot of skipping, pulling and tripping, they reached a dirt road that lead into Hobbiton. Not really wanting anyone to see him holding hands with Merry, he tryed to pull his arm out of Merry's grasp. Merry, again, was reluctant to let go, so Pippin ended up using his feet to push off Merry, but Merry still seemed un-effected.  
  
"Merry, um..Linda...let go of my arm!"  
  
"I don't want to!"  
  
"It's my arm! You might cut off my circulation!"  
  
"Are you always this paranoid?"  
  
"Only since I got that letter..." Pippin have a mighty pull that send him sprawling backwards, falling right on his behind. Merry started giggling girlishly. "You know, that's really getting annoying" grumbled Pippin. Merry shut his mouth firmly.  
  
"PIPPIN! MERRY! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOIN' 'ERE?" Sam's voice would have been a welcome one, however Pippin's ears were still ringing a little after his fall, and all he could hear was 'What are you two doin' 'ere?' re-playing over and over in his head.  
  
"Sam, I heard you the first time! Stop repeating the question!" Pippin stodd up shakily and brushed himself off, stumbling a bit. Merry rushed over to help him, but an annoyed Pippin shrugged off his hands. Sam looked at the two in question. Merry was looking at Sam curiously. Pippin hoped maybe a familiar face would bring Merry to his senses....  
  
"Hi, I'm Linda." ....or not. Sam walked over to them at looked at Merry strangely.  
  
"Merry....are you feelin' alrigh'?" Sam asked, reaching out to put his hand On Merry's shoulder.  
  
"Really, who is Mary? I am Linda! And Pippin here won't stop talking of her!" he added jealously. Pippin looked sideways at Merry and then at Sam.  
  
"He hit his head..." said Pippin, "Hard!" he clarified at the look of confusion on Sam's face.  
  
"Well, you'd both better come with me to see Mr.Frodo, then..." Sam said, turning towards Bag End. Merry spoke up.  
  
"Oh, we're going to see the Golfer!"  
  
"The Gaffer"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Why do you want to see my dad instead of me?"  
  
"We need something from him"  
  
"Oh, that's the only reason anyone ever wants to see him."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"He's away for the weekend, anyway. But maybe Mr.Frodo can help!" Sam exclaimed, and so Pippin and Merry followed him towards the front gate of Bag End.  
  
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TBC.... 


	3. Cleaning Bag End

Grieving Over Apples, Chapter Three  
  
"Mr.Froooodoo!" Sam called, as he threw open the door to Bag-End noisily. Pippin winced. Sam could be VERY loud when he wanted to be, and it hurt Pippin's ears (whoich had only just stopped ringing from his fall earlier).  
  
"What a lovely house," commented Merry, and Pippin rolled his eyes. Frodo came surrying out from one of the back rooms of Bag-End, holding two scrubbing brushes and a bucket, his hands were covered in yellow rubber gloves.  
  
"What is it, Sam? I'm under a lot of pressure to finish in time, so this had better be worth it!" asked Frodo, waving the scrubbing brush in the air, as Sam cowered before him. Then he looked at Merry and Pippin. "You two had better not pull another fiasco like the one with the flour!" Pippin hurridly shook his head.  
  
"These two need some help!" said Sam, quieter this time upon seeing Frodo wielding his trusty brush. Frodo made a small huffing noise and held up the mop and bucket.  
  
"Well, I could use some help, too! These two will have to wait! Bilbo's coming over tonight, and this place has to be SPOTLESS! I'll never hear the end of it if he finds anything dirty! Sam, you're suppost to be helping! Get back to work on the garden, and you two..." Frodo handed Merry the bucket and Pippin the scrubbing brushes, "Wash the floors!" Frodo ran off down to the back of Bag-End as Sam made a mock-salut and hurried off to water the flowers. Merry and Pippin shood dumbfounded. Finally, after a long, shocked silence, Merry spoke.  
  
"What did you do that involved flour?" he asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"You helped!" accused Pippin. Merry sighed, and Pippin sat down.  
  
"What are you doing? We're supposed to be cleaning!" Merry held up the bucket as proof.  
  
"Tht's what I'm doing," he said, as he tied the brushes to his feet with a leather tie from his shirt. "Hold out the bucket," he instructed, and Merry did so. Pippin put his foot right in it, splashing Merry in the process. Then, he skated around on the brushes, using them for skates. Merry, after the shock of being splashed, started to laugh. He followed Pippin around, splashing water around so Pippin could skate faster. Pippin spun around a couple of times, and started skating backwards. Merry stoped spraying water everywhere and opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. "What's-" Pippin began, but never got to finish, because he skated right into a solid figure....Frodo. They both fell to the floor with a soapy splash.  
  
"What are you DOING?" Frodo asked angrily, getting to his feet. Pippin grinned cheekily, looking up at Frodo from his stop on the ground.  
  
"Washing the floors,"Pippin said. Merry snorted, and Frodo smiled a bit.  
  
"Ween't you afraid that you'd fall and hit your head or something?" asked Merry,and Pippin's eyes widened.  
  
"I forgot about that! I could have seriously injured myself! Merry! How could you let me do that?!" Merry winced, and didn't bother to correct him on his name. Pippin started to stand, but promptly slipped on the soapy water and fell over. "Ow..." said Pippin miserably. Frodo regauarded the two and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"What's going on?" Frodo asked. Pippin sat up and rubbed his head. "Oh, there's no time! Bilbo will be here any minute! You two should join us, Sam's made enough food for fourty people," Frodo ran off down the many corridors of Bag End.  
  
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TBC...  
  
Sorry for the wait, been busy. Ok, lame excuse, Hope this chapter makes up for it! :) 


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